I have been amazed at some of the things people will say to Anne during her pregnancy. Everyone seems to have a pregnancy story and they are often not the kind of stories pregnant women want to hear. I am not sure what people are thinking. Do they think telling awful stories of delivery comforts a women who is pregnant? 

I mostly think people want to connect and they simply tell their story without thinking. But first-time expectant moms like Anne are just looking for the encouraging stories. Don’t tell her about the pain or what went wrong in your delivery. Tell her how much you love being a mom. Tell her little tips she should know during pregnancy.

But if you absolutely must tell her a scary story at least start with the phrase, “Everything turned out ok…”

As I have mentioned in this blog, Anne and I were in a community group last spring/summer where all 4 couples got pregnant. Anne and I were the last to join the expectant-parents club. And now we are in the season where the babies are being born. Two days ago the third baby arrived to our friends Lawson and Leighann Craig. They welcomed into the world their first son, Thomas Lawson Davidson Craig. (Now that’s a name!) Congratulations!

Three born, one to go!

“Did you see it” said Anne.

“I didn’t — where?” I replied

“Right here” my wife said as she pointed to a place on her belly.

This evening Anne and I sat on our couch after work and we just stared at her belly watching Jack kick around. These are the simply joys you get to experience when you are first-time expecting parents.

“I saw him!” I exclaimed with great pride. “I saw him kick.”

Yes, this is what we do on a Thursday evening in Nashville.

They say that once you have made it to the third trimester all the hard work is out of the way — it is just clear, smooth, sailing from here. No discomfort or back pain or nausea. Ok, I just made that up but still it is exciting to be entering the last trimester with Jack’s arrival just under 3 months away.

This week Jack is now 28 weeks old. According to our book, he is now 2 and a half pounds and almost 16 inches. He’s started to become a big boy. The new development thing week is blinking. And they (and this time there really is a they) say he is now possibly dreaming. If he is like his mom and dad, he is probably having crazy adventures in his dreams. And his lungs are also almost fully matured!

As I mentioned yesterday, Anne got got great sleep on Saturday night but it was followed up with her normal tossing and turning last night. Hopefully, she has some more “incredible” nights of sleep over the next few months.

As I made that slow and groggy transition from sleep to awake, I turned to see my wife awake with words waiting on her lips.

“It was incredible.”

“What?” I said softly not fully hearing her.

“It was incredible.”

Still confused but more awake I responded, “What was incredible?” I wondered if my wife was actually just talking in her sleep and I was now unknowingly a part of her dream.

“I had the best night’s sleep I have had in months!” she said with a content and glowing look on her face. “I didn’t wake up once.”

“Congratulations” I said. There wasn’t much more to say. When your pregnant wife achieves the perfect night’s rest you just enjoy the moment with her knowing it might not come again.

I got an email from my mom this morning reminding me that we have three months to go. After I read that I realized it was indeed the 21st — our magic number in April. Anne has a pregnant hunch that Jack will be coming early. It would make sense for our son to come early since both Anne and I as a couple tend to be early arrivers to everything. We can’t really explain why but we always find ourselves at events or appointments about 10-15 minutes early. We sometimes try to run late (in fact, I even try purposely sleeping in) but it just never seems to work. Somehow, someway we get there early. Some people are always running late and some are always early — I guess you are just born with it.

So if Jack decides to continue this family tradition of early arrivals I am sure he will not hear any complaints from his mom.

Today is my 38th birthday. Ugh. How did I get this old? I really didn’t want to make a big deal of this day but Anne did a great job of making it fun. It’s also nice when your birthday happens to land on a national holiday.

My mom emailed this morning and reminded me that next year I will get a card To: Daddy from: Jack. That will be a GREAT birthday card and I look forward to sharing my birthday with my new son. For the past two years, Anne has taken me to the Loveless Cafe (if you are in Nashville it is a must-eat experience!). This year we sat next to a couple with a little baby. Next year, we will be that couple enjoying our birthday tradition with Jack. (He is going to love those biscuits!)

There is a rumor that my big day isn’t over yet and that we are heading downtown Nashville for a special dinner. I have a hunch where we are going but I am still going to act surprised.

The big news in the development of our little Horch is that he is now being measured by a new growth chart. Before his measurements were from head to rump, but now he is being measured from head to toe. And this week he measures in at 15 inches which is more than a foot long! Way to go, Jack! 

Anne is feeling good — looking more and more pregnant. She is still pursuing the perfect sleep position.

Well, when I wake up tomorrow I will be one year older. The good thing about having a baby later in life is they will keep me younger (or just age me quicker).

We are sitting here on a cold Saturday evening in Nashville and Anne is sitting on the couch in our living room watching You, Me and Dupree. I have decide to ask her a few questions since I am having writer’s block.

So Anne, I hear that you have been working on putting together the baby registry. What’s been your favorite item you have seen?

I love the alphabet soup decor. Especially the quilt.

Do you like the alphabet soup decor because you like the alphabet (as a fiction editor?) or because you want our child to have a love of soup?

I like because of the colors and the animals. Of course Jack will love soup.

As we watch You, Me and Dupree, which actor will history most remember as the greatest: Matt Dillon, Owen Wilson or Kate Hudson?

Uh…I have to go with none of the above.

When Jack is old enough to be read to, do you have a first book you want to read to him?

Hmmm…that is a good question. I haven’t thought about it. Someone I know and love gave me “Olivia helps with Christmas” but maybe I should start with Jack and the Beanstalk.

You love to read. I know you will want Jack to love books. If Jack were to write a bestseller, what genre would you want him to write in.

Hmm..Wow…I would probably want him to write a novel because I love fiction the best…but I would be proud of him for writing a book in any genre whether it was a bestseller or not.

Anne, what is your favorite thing about the pregnancy right now?

Feeling Jack kick and being able to drink Fresca’s again.

What is your least favorite?

The way my belly button is starting to poke out!!

Well, I will let you get back to your movie. Thanks for letting me ask you a few questions.

Your welcome

As I wrote about earlier, Anne and I were in a small group with 3 other couples in which during the time we together all four couples became pregnant. Earlier this week our friends Shawn and Audra Tilden welcomed a new baby girl. They are the second of the four couples to deliver. The third couple is due in February and then the Horches in April.

Congratulations, Tildens! We are excited to meet your new daughter.

We are now entering into our 26th week and there is a big development in the growth of Jack. First, our baby now weights in at 2-pounds. He is really growing. It wasn’t that long ago he was just 1-pound. Also, he now measures about 9-inches long. And for the big development — our book says that Jack’s eyes are beginning to open. The eyelids had been fused for the last few months. 

Overall, Anne is feeling good. She still isn’t sleeping well which may just be how things are going to be for the next few months. She has been feeling Jack kick a lot recently which she always enjoys.

And this has been your week 26 update. Have a great Monday!

It’s interesting to see how differently I now view the everyday world now that I know we will be parents in just a few months. Last night Anne and I saw The Tale of Despereaux, a movie we have wanted to see since we started seeing the trailers. It’s a story about a mouse who wasn’t afraid. The movie was average (if you want a good rodent animation see Ratatouille) but what was disturbing were the trailers. This  was a “G” movie and several of the new releases seemed very scary. Despereaux, which could have been a fun adventure movie about a mouse, had some very frightening elements that probably gave several of the kids in the theatre some nightmares. A year ago, Anne and I wouldn’t have really thought much about it.

In the movie, the headmaster is concerned that Despereaux is not learning to be afraid. He tells his parents that “he doesn’t scurry, wouldn’t cower.” And then he turns to the brave mouse and says, “Oh Despereaux, there are so many wonderful things in life to be afraid of it you just learn how scary they are.”

Ironically, the headmaster was correct which is why young Jack probably won’t be seeing Despereaux and a lot of other G movies meant to entertain young children.

Most people understand that as a pregnant woman gets further along in her pregnancy her belly gets bigger. It’s simple, as the baby grows so does the belly. The pregnant woman knows this. The rest of the world knows this. We’ve seen pictures or watched the Kevin Bacon-Alec Baldwin classic, “She’s Having a baby.”

So telling a pregnant woman she is gaining weight is not only stating the obvious but not necessarily the words a women “with child” wants to hear. So how does one celebrate an expectant mother’s growing baby bump?  With Anne, I have observed that people have commented on her pregnancy in different ways. She’s heard, “Hey, you’ve gained a lot of weight!” with no follow-up. She knows what they mean but not necessarily a flattering comment. But others have gone with the more encouraging route of, “Wow, you look great!” followed up with, “the baby is really growing.”

Let me just tell you as the husband of a pregnant woman, starting with the phrase, “you look great” is always a good way to start. So next time you want to acknowledge that a woman is pregnant and getting further along try to avoid the obvious “well aren’t you big” and give her the words that will always make her day — “Anne, you look beautiful.”

Now that we are 3 and a half months from our due date, everyone is asking us if we have our nursery set-up. These days setting up a themed baby room full of fancy mobiles with a color coordinated crib, blankets, rocking chair is almost just as important as actually delivering the baby. The theme one picks for their baby room should not only be appropriate to the baby’s sex reinforcing their gender through blues or pinks but should provide a room that makes the mom (and her friends) melt and swoon with “aaahhhhhh” every time they walk in there or sneak a peak from the hallway.

I wonder when this started? I remember watching episodes of Little House on the Prairie and the newborns were just placed in the top drawer of the dresser. There was no huge decorations. The kids grew up to be well adjusted kids (well except for that Nellie girl). I bet it started soon after Babies R Us launched their store. And since Anne and I don’t want to rock the “newborn culture” boat, we are definitely planning on setting up a cute (but still masculine) nursery for Jack to live in his early years.

So Anne has registered at the aforementioned baby superstore. We are going with a theme called “Alphabet Soup” which I think combines my rugged, open plains childhood from Texas and Anne’s diverse, international upbringing in the military. Actually we picked it because it just had cute animals.

So if you would like to check out our registry you can go here and search by “registrant” and enter “Anne Horch”. If you are a mom, let us know if there are things you would recommend we add or remove from our registry — we are very new to this baby thing.